The lesson of a Dunderhead

If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.

~James 1:5-8 The Holy Bible: English Standard Version

Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit. ~Elbert Hubbard

I have trying to take a good look at myself to scrub away any spots that are not pleasing to God and are hindering my writing process and my relationships. It hasn't been an easy process because to be honest taking a good honest look at yourself sometimes gives you a stinkface. Things you thought you thew out ages ago you find out were actually just shoved down and have been festering in a dark corner and now are just down right stanky. Ewwww. Not saying that is what is happening here, no no no......well, maybe I did hit on something this morning when I was rebooting my laundry load. I was muttering to God about my writing, He is used to this so I am sure I had his undivided attention - either that or he had one ear tuned to me while he played Super Mario Brothers, He has been trying to get past that dungeon level for ages. I was going on how I am sure He wanted me to write because He gave me the gift and how I was trying so hard and I just wanted to get this book done so I could show it to Him and say "See, Daddy, look what I did." - Ohhhhh Ouch, yeah it smacked me right upside the head in the middle of transferring wet clothes. Bang your head on the wash machine, Crysie, you dunderhead. No wonder you haven't been able to write anything useful lately, you have been trying to rely on YOU, you big dummy. (and yes, God does sound like Red Fox as Fred Sanford sometimes).

So now that I have my head going in the right direction (though it was starting to go there before this amazing revelation this morning) I think the floodgates might actually be opened. YAY! Because there are some writer's conferences coming up that I would like to go to and I would like to have some work to present although really I just want to finish something and show it to my heavenly father and have him smile and give me a big hug and say it makes him happy. That and when I get to heaven, he wants me to be the editor of the Heavenly News, lol.

Hello to new Me?

Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,

nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;

but his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night.

~ Psalms 1:1-2 The Holy Bible : English Standard Version.

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

~ MercyMe - Bring the Rain

Patience is a virtue.

Not right now, it isn't.

~ Rick & Evie, The Mummy

I am a graduate from the school of Life, majoring in Hard Knocks with minors in stubbornness and trust issues with a dash of pride mixed in. Now my life could have been worse, that is for sure and it could have been better. But this is not a blog for whining about what could or should have been. It is actually more about taking an honest look at myself and my surroundings and snapping out of a rut/funk/whatever-you-want-to-call-it and giving it the boot. A new year just begs for a new beginning and one new beginning is for me to let go of what little bit of perfectionism I have about things within me and move ahead. Now I am one that would say that there is no such thing as perfect, and I would be right but I would also be a hypocrite (which I cannot stand) because I demand perfection (or close to it) from myself. So then if I would mess up or something not turn out the way I would expect it to I would not only beat myself up because I obviously messed something up and thus not done it perfectly, I am also beating myself up for being a hypocrite because there is no such thing as perfect. Now I am not a rocket scientist or anything related to scientist and have the common sense God gave a flea but even I know that has got to drive a person a bit bonkers. And while bonky, whacky people are fun to watch on TV, they aren't so fun to live or be around in real life.

I am trying to establish simple routines. This is funny since the idea of routines makes me want to run for the hills screaming. But I have decided that these routines will actually free up my time to do the things I actually like to do. This is a serious work in progress. The ark wasn't built in a day, heck I took 9 months! I am understanding that my spiritual gift is writing although still not sure how that is working out for me because I am struggling with it lately. But I am also good with advise (giving more than taking) but I am more of a Denis Leary than a Dear Abby so not sure that will work out for me - then again, you never know. I don't even know how one gets that kind of gig, so if anyone knows, I would appreciate any information.

I have went through my email devotionals and scaled them down although it almost seemed like blasphemy. And even unsubscribed to some ministry audio/video. But I had to reason with myself that it was just sitting there in my inbox and not doing me any good - it would be like having a bible and never reading it. And besides, God isn't going to judge me on the amount of devotionals or ministries I listen to. I have this longing to please him and do right but also the perfectionism and I am an overachiever - trust me when I say, this is NOT a good mix.

See, I am trying to be patient and wait upon the Lord though you get those sayings of "The Lord helps those who help themselves" but that isn't exactly true. God wants you to depend on him but then that doesn't mean sit on your thumbs either. This can be a rather head banging on wall experience at times.

Especially for those of us who are reforming perfectionists who get hives over the thought of failure or messing up. Not to mention overachievers who start foaming at the mouth if left unattended for too long.

And then there were these sawdust chips......

Hello my friend, I remember when you were
So alive with your wide eyes to the light
Then the light that you had when your heart was stolen
Now you say that it ain’t worth stayin’
You wanna run but your hesitatin’
I’m talkin’ to me

Don’t let the lights go down
Don’t let the fire burn out
Cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe
Why don’t you rise up now?
Don’t be afraid to stand out
That’s how the lost get found
The lost get found

So when you get the chance, Are you gonna take it
There’s a really big world at your fingertips
And you know you have the chance to change it
There’s a girl on the streets, she’s cryin’
There’s a man who faith is dying
Love is calling you

~Britt Nicole, The Lost Get Found

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

~Matthew 7:1-5

The Holy Bible : English Standard Version.

What kills a skunk is the publicity it gives itself. ~Abraham Lincoln

Now I am one who is really big on being honest and truthful in things - it makes things easier all around, honestly. That being said, it makes one squirm a bit when they take an honest and truthful soul-searching look at themselves and see that while they have been pointing out flaws in others they have had a figurative hole in their drawers. Well maybe not that gaping or embarrassing but still it wasn't until I received a devotional in my email this morning that I realized that I was demanding something from this world and its people that it was not able to give. Granted, it isn't that it CAN'T give it it is just that it is out of practice and a bit spoiled and rotten at the moment. I would like to think we can, as good old Abe so nicely put it, de-skunkdefy it and make it into a glorious country again. Despite what naysayers think, it CAN be done. I mean the Ark wasn't built in a day but it WAS built - and by a really old man no less. There are going to be bumps and bruises, wins and losses and that is all ok it is part of the journey but the end reward is going to be worth the ride. Are we going to enjoy the whole thing? Heck no! There are going to be part we are going to absolutely abhor and want to vomit over but it is all par for the course. Remember folks there were many times that God handed over his chosen people to their enemies because they disobeyed or became frivolous. Do you think you are more deserving then they? Be careful, your plank is showing.

Joy to the World? Eh, maybe not

I have been the wayward child, I have acted out
I have questioned Sovereignty, And had my share of doubt
And though sometimes my prayers feel like, They're bouncing off the sky
The hand I hold won't let me go, And is the reason why...

I will stumble, I will fall down
But I will not be moved
I will make mistakes, I will face heartache
But I will not be moved
On Christ the Solid Rock I stand
All other ground is sinking sand
I will not be moved

Bitterness has plagued my heart, Many times before
My life has been like broken glass, And I have kept the score
Of all my shattered dreams and though it seemed
That I was far too gone,, My brokenness helped me to see
It's grace I'm standing on

~Natalie Grant, I Will Not Be Moved

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves, because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen.

For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Though they know God’s decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.

~Romans 1:18-32 The Holy Bible : English Standard Version.

Whatever we worship, short of God, is sure to be our undoing. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Ah Christmas time in America, such joy and cheer and jubulation. Wait, that ISN'T what you have been getting on your nightly news? Come to think of it, it hasn't been on mine either, hmmm. No, there has been much bickering, finger pointing and hate-mongering going on during the time of the season where love and peace is supposed to reign. And I almost am ashamed to say that a lot of the fear mongering is being promoted by the christian community. I mean, come on, did you forget who your commander in chief was? So what if the gay community "wins" the "right" to be legally married. It is just a piece of paper in this world. Do you really think it is going to bypass God's sovereignty? That they are going to be able to march up to the pearly gates and thumb their nose at him and go "nah nah we got you?" Really? They are saying that it is going to debase the sanctity of marriage. Seriously? Oh I think the cheating, physical, emotional, mental and substance abuse that leads up to the, what 95% divorce rate covers that. Do I think is wrong, heck yes I do! But God granted free will and who am I to try and prevent what he allows? I am not God. And you know what? He allows punishment for going against what is good and just and his will. DUH. So let them have their moment in the sun, let them find out the grass isn't greener. Besides, this all happened before anyway - read your history book, the bible. Everything that has ever happened is in there - it is a great read, you should try it some time. I mean granted, the bad guys keep getting more clever as time goes by but still you learn new stuff every time you read it. Personally I almost wish this world would go to hell in hand basket, it would mean he is coming soon and I could go home and everything would be heavenly - literally.

The World or God - is there really a choice?

Let not your heart envy sinners, but continue in the fear of the Lord all the day.

Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

~ Proverbs 23:17-18 The Holy Bible : English Standard Version.

Be careful little eyes what you see, It's the second glance that ties your hands
As darkness pulls the strings

Be careful little feet where you go, For it's the little feet behind you
That are sure to follow

Be careful little ears what you hear, When flattering leads to compromises
The end is always near

Be careful little lips what you say, For empty words and promises
Leave broken hearts astray

The journey from your mind to your hands, Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand, You just might be sinking

And thoughts invade, choices are made
A price will be paid
When you give yourself away, People never crumble in a day

It's a slow fade, When you give yourself away
It's a slow fade, When black and white are turned to gray

~ Casting Crowns - Slow Fade

We have enjoyed so much freedom for so long that we are perhaps in danger of forgetting how much blood it cost to establish the Bill of Rights. ~Felix Frankfurter

I used to joke that I was "banned" from watching news because it would drive me nuts. The onslaught of negativity that vomits continualy from the boob tube was disgusting. It got even worse during the election year with the adoration of Obama and I am not even going to say how it has been since he has been president - and no, I am not a fan. I am proud to say I voted for the other guy and that I CHOOSE to turn the channel when the news comes on and they continually spout negativity and drone on about information that is not uplifting or encouraging. I don't care about Tiger Wood's problems and I have already heard the weather report so I can change the channel now, thank you very much.

I can't say that my religious devotionals are all that much more uplifting at times either - everyone seems to be in panic mode that we are going to collapse and fall into ruin and be the devil's playthings. This brings me to a bit of eye rolling because I go to my bible and check my facts and it says right there in black and white that Satan can't touch me because God protects me. I mean, yeah, I could die and that would suck but in a way it wouldn't because then I would be with God and that would rock. I wouldn't hurt anymore, my suffering would be over, the mental torture that I go through almost daily would be gone. I don't know about you but that would be a blessing. If a civil war broke out tomorrow and my family perished and we went to be with God do you really think I would complain? Not likely. And those who have been saved shouldn't worry about themselves either because they are covered and they should know that and not fear but they are acting like scared rabbits.

I have found that I have found that a lot of my mental grief has dropped away as I stopped worrying about what the world worries about and looked at God. This world can go away, He has me and it is all good. I mean yes, I love my husband and my kids, I am not selfish like that. But if God called me home I am not stupid enough to say no. I will know that my purpose here was done and it was time to go home. So as the Christmas season starts to ramp up lets try to remember the words the angels told the shepherds that blessed night and the same words Jesus said many times to his disciples when they showed fear in troubled times.

Do not Fear, I am With You.