If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
~James 1:5-8 The Holy Bible: English Standard Version
I have trying to take a good look at myself to scrub away any spots that are not pleasing to God and are hindering my writing process and my relationships. It hasn't been an easy process because to be honest taking a good honest look at yourself sometimes gives you a stinkface. Things you thought you thew out ages ago you find out were actually just shoved down and have been festering in a dark corner and now are just down right stanky. Ewwww. Not saying that is what is happening here, no no no......well, maybe I did hit on something this morning when I was rebooting my laundry load. I was muttering to God about my writing, He is used to this so I am sure I had his undivided attention - either that or he had one ear tuned to me while he played Super Mario Brothers, He has been trying to get past that dungeon level for ages. I was going on how I am sure He wanted me to write because He gave me the gift and how I was trying so hard and I just wanted to get this book done so I could show it to Him and say "See, Daddy, look what I did." - Ohhhhh Ouch, yeah it smacked me right upside the head in the middle of transferring wet clothes. Bang your head on the wash machine, Crysie, you dunderhead. No wonder you haven't been able to write anything useful lately, you have been trying to rely on YOU, you big dummy. (and yes, God does sound like Red Fox as Fred Sanford sometimes).
So now that I have my head going in the right direction (though it was starting to go there before this amazing revelation this morning) I think the floodgates might actually be opened. YAY! Because there are some writer's conferences coming up that I would like to go to and I would like to have some work to present although really I just want to finish something and show it to my heavenly father and have him smile and give me a big hug and say it makes him happy. That and when I get to heaven, he wants me to be the editor of the Heavenly News, lol.