Monday, May 21, 2012

Darkness to Light

Dark have been my dreams of late. ~ King Theoden, Lord of the Rings – Two Towers

Darkness. True darkness. Absence of physical light can be frightening and many times is, but it can and has been overcome. Absence of spiritual light, however, is the true nightmares of every human alive. The feeling of despair, lost hope, has brought many a person to their knees and even to their deaths. It is the horrifying edge that many walk every day. Your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, might be walking the tightrope across a yawning black pit surrounding them and you may or may not even know it. And if you do, you don't know how to help them. And they don't know how to tell you how.

I write this because I, myself, have had dark dreams of late. To be more precise, I have had dark days. Days where my husband has had to watch, helplessly, as darkness consumed my mind. Watch as his free-spirited wife who loves life and sunshine get swallowed up into a shadow of nothingness. Encouraging words were lost in the smog of depression. Then just as soon as it comes, the clouds blow away. The darkness lifts and I am able to think and see again. Each time an episode happens it feels like my mind is static and all I can see or hear is darkness. The most painful thing is, I can feel it coming. The most shameful thing is when I lose the fight and get sucked into the madness. Because when the clouds lift, I can't remember exactly why they were there in the first place but do know that I was not myself.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path ~ Psalms 119:105 (AMP)

Recently I have started listening to podcasts from my church pastors and got a bible app on my phone and Nook. And while words of light are spoken in my ears and read by my eyes, the voices in my mind scream and sneer. But faith comes by hearing (and seeing) and hearing by the word of God which is Jesus Christ. (Romans 10:17) Faith is strengthened when truth is spoken. Jesus is Truth. Truth can come from a friend, song, message, program, a devotional, any where Jesus sees fit. And where one avenue may get cut off, He will open another path. Jesus doesn't give up on you, even if you give up on yourself. Plain. Simple. Period. So take hold of that promise and store it in your heart. When the whispers of dread and doom start to tickle your ears, pull it out and shine it. They will still come at you, but their time will be shortened, because the darkness will always lose to the light. And Jesus is the Light.

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